Incredibly stupid and full of affidavits

We have come a long way in the war on corruption. From the Prevention of Corruption Act to the Anti-corruption and Economic Crimes Act, we have come a long way. The anti-corruption statutory landscape includes the Public Officer Ethics Act, the Leadership and Integrity Act, the Public Procurement and Asset Disposal Act, the Public Audit Act, the Anti-money Laundering and Proceeds of Crime Act and the Prevention of Organised Crimes Act. There are numerous other anti-corruption statutes. On the statutory landscape alone, we have come a very long way.

And yet. Since the heydays of Goldenberg things have gotten out of hand. It is Goldenberg that led to the Anti-corruption and Economic Crimes Act and the Public Officer Ethics Act, which in turn led to Chapter Ten of the Constitution and which in turn led to the Leadership and Integrity Act. But no matter how elaborate the post-Goldenberg statutory web is, it has not prevented other Goldenberg-like swindles: Anglo-Leasing, Triton, the Maize Scandal, the Kazi Kwa Vijana Scandal and, lately, the sh. 791m NYS-linked swindle. Between Goldenberg and NYS, the scams have gotten grander, the scamsters have gotten bolder, the conviction rate has remained woeful, and the public has lost faith.

Goldenberg shocked the nation by its brazenness, but it is NYS that will redefine grand corruption and reshape the government and the people's relationship with the government. By the time the auditors are done, it is not just the missing 791 million that will be in the scales; the reputations of dozens of prominent Kenyans will be sullied forever and no matter how many churches they start (like the Goldenberg architect), they will forever live outside the pale, and the antics of their children who seem to have had their consciences lobotomised will make everything worse in this age of social media and twenty-four hour news cycles.

NYS is an old school swindle, a throwback to the colonial and KANU way of swindling the public. The arrogance of it all is very colonial and KANU-like. It lacks, however, pizzazz. You don't have a suave mzungu in the wings with a glib rejoinder when the sleuths come calling or a paternalistic Baba wa Taifa with his well-thumbed King James attending Sunday Service, ready with a pithy homily about peace, love and unity after the service. What you get are insiders and pawns, halfwits and witticisms, social media outrage and a plethora of affidavits and cease-and-desists, and that Old School staple: Deny! Deny! Deny! In the Information Age (or Digital Age, as the serikali keeps reminding us) going Old School was asinine, and denial was never going to hack it.

Between Goldenberg and NYS, the only way to keep secrets is to never, ever write them down. The only way to hide relationships, acquaintances, friendships is to never have any. The only way to hide a swindle is never, ever to use computers. Ever. Only the naive still believe that you can hide anything anymore, even with "secret" cellphones and "clinical" contractual relationships. Sooner or later, someone gets the short end of the stick and they go running to their lawyer before they go running to the press with an affidavit in hand. Even hairdressers are getting in on the miffed-lawyer-press game. We have come a very long way, dear people. Where we go from here is anyones guess, but I think it is just going to get grander, more brazen, incredibly stupid and full of affidavits. And witticisms.