To Sir, with respect.

Sir, 

 

The Eurobond is not it. Cabinet Secretary Rotich and Governor Njoroge and Principal Secretary Thugge and the eggheads at JP Morgan Chase and the money men active on the Irish Stock Exchange are not idiots. If you are looking for windmills to tilt at, stay as far away from the Central Bank and National Treasury; not even the Auditor-General nor the Controller of Budget will hand you the political blowtorch you're looking for. Focus your attention, instead, on the Standard Gauge Railway if all you want is a stalking horse for your unrealised presidential ambitions.

Kenyans are not entirely as forgetful as is popularly presumed. The late Prof Saitoti's and Musalia Mudavadi's stints at the Treasury Building may be unfamiliar to the under-thirty five demographic, but not all of us were asleep then. The fiddles that took place then are not taking place now; it is almost impossible to get away with a billion-dollar scam in the Information Age. Ours may not exactly be a Digital Government yet, but there aren't enough Firewalls of China in the world to keep fiddles and swindles from coming out. Have you forgotten how WikiLeaks made you life, and Mwai Kibaki's, difficult with all its leaks about your coalition?

The SGR offers a target as juicy as the National Youth Service because billions are at stake and these are billions that are the subject of tenders. You understand tenders, don't you? Those things that flourished under your watchful eye during that difficult famine in 2012 or the bits of Finance Minister Kenyatta's Economic Stimulus Programme that came to be known as Kazi Kwa Vijana. I hope you do, because you know the right questions to ask when it comes to this SGR and LAPSSET.

As soon as you start with the questions, you can sit back and watch the sky fall on their heads. So I am curious as to why you haven't focussed your eye on the SGR. Could it be that you do not come with clean hands? Could it be that some of your minions do not come with clean hands? Or, horror of horrors, could it be that you don't really know anything about anything any more and you're just going through the motions because Ireland and New York City are way out over there? Okay, so maybe you're not interested in the SGR for some reason or another. There's always the Galana-Kulalu Irrigation Scheme, that million-acre land grab that seems to produce less than advertised and where the transport costs would make the yields about as competitive as importing grain from Thailand.

You've already started playing patty-cake with Cabinet Secretary Rotich. That is never a good sign. If he has any brains, which he probably has in plenty, he will make you eat your words about him being a crook and being in bed with crooks and being responsible for economic crimes and shit like that. It is time to say you are satisfied with Mr Rotich and then focus on the alleged shady goings on of Michael Kamau and Nduva Muli and the SGR. They are already out of government having a whale of a time with the EACC and the DPP. They should give you something to do. It looks like you need the work.