Maggots

There's a phrase, said in that pitying tone of voice that only a certain kind of woman can pull of in a certain kind of situation: That's so cute. It's so cute that adults, presumably intelligent adults, live in t a kind of wonderland whee one day, once and for all, the scourge of corruption will be eradicated. I have indulged in this fantasy once or twice before. No more.

Kenya is not unique. Not when it comes to graft. In Africa alone, Zimbabwe, Nigeria, the DRC, Ghana and Uganda share our proclivity for converting public offices into private piggy banks. No, Kenya is not unique. Not even the corruption that almost guarantees the collapse of privately held institutions makes Kenya unique. Barings Bank, once the British queen's banker, was ruined by the greed of one of its traders based in Hong Kong.

The United Kingdom, as they still believe themselves to be, has one of the most corrupt governments in the world. It manages to hide its corruption behind centuries of tradition and an accent that hides yellowing teeth and a decrepit standing in the world. If you doubt the corruption of the British state, witness the lengths it has gone to dispossess the Chagossians, the mealy-mouthed legalisms it has employed to deny the Mau Mau fighters their due, and the utter hypocrisy of its dealings with the House of Saud, one of the most monstrous human rights violators of all time. No, Kenya is not unique.

So, why do grown men and women continue to labour under the illusion that corruption can be eradicated when the template for the modern state happens to be one of the most perfidiously corrupt states in the history of modern government? Waziris and their seniormost mandarins will continue to swindle the good people of this country until the end of time. They simply do not have the backbone to resist the temptation. More of them have had their noses pressed to the window and they have no intention of letting opportunities pass them by. It is not the big numbers that get them to steal; it is just the system that is designed to encourage theft.

Do not despair, good people. Take your cue from your Cabinet and your public service. Some wag said on Twitter that we are on our own. That, good people, is the truth. Now, tax evasion is an offence. Don't do it. But whatever provisions of the Tax Code that shall lower your tax burden should not be overlooked or sneered at; these are some of the lawful devices available to you that will not see you answering difficult questions in the Anti-Corruption Court No. 1 in Milimani.

Second, don't even bother joining a political party; unless you are one of the inner circle string-pullers in the vehicle, it would be a total waste of your time and energy. But don't keep the party at too far an arms' length; the party will need posters, tee-shirts, advisors, consultants and suppliers of various odds and ends. That is the niche everyone needs to carve for themselves because for sure they will not become serikali suppliers without the right kind of relationships with the decision-makers.

Third, stop acting all shocked that even venerable institutions such as National Flag Carriers don't have mountains of graft to hide. I don't really know what kind of world you live in where an African National Flag Carrier has not been the road to great personal wealth. If they happen to go bankrupt three or four times, the better. Pride and a large dollop of taxes will keep them afloat until the inevitable happens: they are re-nationalised and another lot gets to take it private again, bankrupt it three or four times...you get the point.

Look, even the Transparency Internationals aren't really interested in declaring victory. That happens, then what will they bitch about in the future, hold conferences, workshops or seminars in fancy five-star exotic locales? This is the system we have. Someone steals. We pretend to be outraged. The DPP pretends to prosecute. The judiciary...I don't really know what it does. The TIs of this world write reports about it. Nothing really changes. It's a national DNA thing. No one wants the music to stop. Certainly the ones whose whole lives is defined by it. It is who they are. Without it, they are the insignificant maggots that feed on cadavers deep in the ground.