Monday, November 02, 2015

It's been too long.

It's been a while since I picked on him. Here goes.

What do they teach you people in management grad school? How to piss of your staff? How to piss off your key "stakeholders"? I mean, why go through the headache of a headache to get a PhD, an MBA or two and a couple of bachelor degrees and then operate as if you you phoned in all those credentials from the hostel or something? I really don't get it.

I am a frequent user of Jogoo Road - which all regular users of Jogoo Road hate because it has Umoinner and Embasava and Forward Travellers and Mwamba and Pinpoint and no road markings - and I am developing a special hatred for the person who came up with the idea to install constantly-flashing speed cameras. I think it He Who Should Be Ashamed, but I am not sure; his serikali is so opaque.

Anyway, in Washington, D.C., and those kinds of places, speeding is frowned on by city hall types because it is city hall types who hire policemen who enforce the Highway Code. Nairobi, is not Washington. He Who Should Be Ashamed does not have a police force. So exactly how was he going to go chasing after speeders, even if the roads are his, without a police force? We already know that the traffic lights and traffic cameras are not synchronised. We remain sceptical about the "central control room" where all the camera feeds are recorded, stored and analysed.

What annoys me is that these speed cameras with their flashing lights are always flashing, whether traffic is proceeding at a crawl or an Umoinner is trying to qualify for the 2015 Abu Dhabi Formula 1 Grand Prix. Are these cameras and the their flashes calibrated to capture cars traveling at 1 kmph? Seems like it. Which is just incredibly stupid. Does this government want Nairobi to become a walking city or something?

I don't know what kind of traffic strategy the big brains of this county government have, but whatever it is, it isn't working. Matatus are permanently parked at junctions, roundabouts, stages, bus stops, bus termini, everywhere. Roads remain spectacularly unmarked. County askaris remain woefully undertrained, uncouth, violent, vicious, sweat-stinking and hilariously incompetent. And all the while those ridiculous speed cameras keep on flashing. I wonder how many MBAs it takes to get things this fouled up.

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