Why Kenya Should Become a Vassal of the USA

'Sovereignty' is defined by the Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus (3rd Ed., 2004) as "supreme and unrestricted power, as of a state; an independent state." The Black's Law Dictionary (8th Ed., 2004) defines it as "a person, body, or state vested with independent and supreme authority." The key words in these definitions are "supreme", "independent" and "unrestricted". Can Kenya claim to be a "sovereign state"? The Constitution of Kenya declares in section 1 that "Kenya is a sovereign Republic". Black's Law Dictionary defines this as "a system of government in which the people hold sovereign power and elect representatives who exercise that power".

The Constitution of India, on the other hand, in its preamble declares India to be a "sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic Republic." This matters a lot in how the elected representatives exercise the sovereign power of the people. In India, the elected representatives have resisted strongly the urge to mortgage their country to foreign interests, even when it would have been the easier thing to do to address pressing social and economic problems. Indeed in 1991 when India's foreign exchange reserves were in a precarious state, India did not go to the World Bank or IMF with hat in hand; instead, it took steps to liberalise its economy and thus become competitive in the global market. Today, unsurprisingly, the Tata group of companies is a multi-national conglomerate that owns such prestigious Western brands as Corus Steel, Tetley Tea, Jaguar Motor Co., and Land Rover.

While the People's Republic of China can hardly be described as a democracy, the Communist Party of China has also maintained an iron economic grip on the sovereignty of the Chinese State; indeed, the People's Revolutionary Army, at over 1.5 million strong, is also the largest economic investor in the country, separate from the Communist Party itself. All this is intended to ensure that China remains independent from the strong global politico-economic forces championed by the West. As a result, China has pursued a policy that has seen it rise steadily towards becoming a major global power whose opinion must be considered during periods of global instability, such as the economic recession that began in late 2007.

Which leads me now to conclude that Kenya can hardly claim "sovereignty". When the Minister for Foreign Affairs thumps his chest and dares America to do its worst, threatening similar retaliation, Hon. Wetangula willfully turns a blind eye to the politico-economic realities of the day. The past 18 months have demonstrated that we are "sovereign" only in name; in fact, however, we are beholden to the largesse of foreign powers, some Western, some not. When it was predicted that at least 10 million Kenyans were in danger of starvation, the Government of President Kibaki and later the Coalition Government of President Kibaki and Prime Minister Odinga went cap-in-hand to the West for food aid. When the 2007 General Elections led to widespread violence, displacement and anarchy, foreign powers intervened and coerced the 'principals' to cohabit unhappily in a coalition. A lot of the 'developmental aid' that Kenya receives goes towards 'budgetary support' and contrary to what our Finance Ministers claim, Kenya has yet to support its development agenda without assistance from foreign powers. So, how can we claim sovereignty as a nation when our elected representatives have mortgaged our country to foreigners?

Samuel Johnson said that 'patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel' and in Kenya this no longer moot. Every time our elected officials wish to distract us from pressing domestic matters of national importance, they use patriotism as a weapon to attack those foreign powers that have an opinion on "our internal affairs", forgetting that, especially, the West has supported this country financially for decades and expect a steady rate of return for their investment. By now we should all have realised that there are no rfree lunches in real life; we all pay a price, one way or the other.

Which leads me to ask, is it of any benefit to anyone that we remain a 'sovereign Republic'? The United Kingdom still retains many "dependent territories". So does the United States of America. Given our anti-pathy to being the Queen's subjects by the fact that her government screwed up so royally when Kenya was under her thumb, the USA seems a better bet as a colonial master. I propose that Kenya votes to become a proper vassal state of the USA. This will eliminate many of the problems we currently face: there would be no necessity for a President or Prime Minister; indeed, there would be no need for a 43-strong cabinet of ministers; the civil service could be refashioned along American lines; we would no longer speak of economic aid as much as transfer of resources. While America may baulk at adopting a wayward country like Kenya, in the long run it is our best interests to be rule by a foreign power; they can't screw up half as bad as our many thousands of politicians have screwed up since 1963. More importantly, we would never be divided again by General Elections and we would all concentrate on getting the much coveted Green Card, the epitome of achievement in Kenyans' eyes.

Is the Rift Valley worth all the trouble?

The Rift Valley, once more, is being billed as the future turf of the electoral contest come 2012. Yesterday's creation of a Kalenjin Council of Elders and today's revelations of a Cabinet Minister directly involved in inciting violence against the non-Kalenjin point to a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept of liberal multi-party politics. The Council ignores or attempts to ignore the fact that the Rift Valley is not the exclusive home of the Kalenjin and its members' claims that it is not a political outfit should be taken with the same quantity of salt one would take against the claims that certain Rift Valley MPs were not involved in the violence of 2007/08.

However, we shouldn't ignore the fact that the 10 sub-tribes of the Kalenjin are the largest ethnic group in the Valley. The Kikuyu, the Luhya and the Kambas are some of the other ethnic groups that can lay claim to parts of the Valley. But it is the Maasai who occupy second place in terms of size and political influence. The fact is, the Kalenjins call the Valley home but this does not mean that this is their traditional home, not in any way, shape or form. The Kenya constitution, flawed as it is, makes provisions for the protection of the rights of Kenyans to own property anywhere in the country.

The members of ethnic communities who took advantage of the semi-literacy of the 'true' owners of the Valley and acquired large tracts of land are not to blame for the failures of the so-called kalenjin leadership. If this new outfit wishes to address the leadership challenges of the Kalenjin, it must honestly tell its people that the reason why it is so backward in academic and economic terms and in other measures of socio-economic advancement. It is a fact that while the 24 years of president Moi's reign brought many opportunities to the people of the Rift Valley, one cannot deny that he ignore large swathes of the place. There is no excuse for the backwardness of the Ogiek or the Pokot and Turkana. President Moi, while showering largesse on a few of his fellow Kalenjin did not do much for the community as a whole, hence their feelings of persecution at the hands of economically and academically superior members of other communities.

It is now apparent that many of the Kalenjin politicians in Parliament, while denying that they are arming militias in the Rift Valley, will not do anything to reduce the level of tension. Many, even those in high government office, are convinced that their community is under siege. It is not our fault that the violence that took place after the 2007 General Elections took place largely in the Rift Valley; it is Rift Valley, specifically, Kalenjin MPs who perpetrated and perpetuated the violence and pretended to jpoin hands at the signing of the National Accord in 2008. What is required is an honest assessment of the MPs and other leaders of the Kalenjin community. Hon. Ruto, Hon. Bett, Hon. Sambili, Hon. Prof. Kamar, Hon. Kilimo, Hon. Isaac Ruto, Hon. Sirma, Hon. Cheptumo, Hon. Kutuny, and all the rest of them have singularly failed to articulate clearly a vision for their constituents and they will lead their people to the next general elections with percieved grievances against the rest of the country. I am not worried that militias are being armed in the Rift Valley; I am worried that if we balkanise this nation any further, there won't be a nation worth saving in the aftermath of the 2012 general elections.

Teen Sexuality is a Fact

I was shocked - shocked - to learn that teenagers and pre-teenagers are having massive amounts of sex. SEX! How could this come to pass? In Kenya of all places too. We are a Christian nation (so do all those churches tell us) and we do not have sex save for procreation. This report based on armchair research is just plain wrong. There's no way my standard eight neighbour in the micro-skirt and tumbo-cut is giving it to my other form one neighbour with the bad mohawk and sagging jeans and spotless white timbalands. No fucking way!

At least that is what I wish to stay but cannot because the truth is something else altogether. With every advancement in this country, be it economic, academic, telecommunication or social, the age of sexual maturity keeps getting lower and lower. Maturity as in recognition of themselves as sexual beings but not mental maturity to recognise the implications of sexuality and sexual activity. There is plenty of blame to lay around: parents who socialise their children using the DSTv and the internet; schools that are overcrowded and teachers who are overworked and underpaid; corrupt local authorities that have sold every bit of open land to the nearest Mr. Moneybags Developer; and churches that have proliferated at the same rate their proprietors are caught with their pants down that they are incapable of offering a coherent moral compass to their congregants. In the middle of all this is caught a givernment that has absolutely no idea what its priorities are and how to achieve tangible social and economic advancements without rending the fabric of society.

As a result, childhood sexuality is being ignored and the result is the rise in childhood pregnancy and abortion on an unprecedented scale. If we do not admit to ourselves that there is a problem and that we all must take responsibility, how will we find the courage or wisdom to offer more than platitudes to these children who are endangering their lives. HIV/AIDS is not the only risk facing them. Sexual exploitation can be far much worse. If you do not believe this, visit Phuket in Thailand and witness the dull stares of young boys and girls raped on a regular basis by clientys much older than them. Or take a walk along the beaches of Malindi and Mombasa!

Do they still want a dictatorship?

There is a new smell in the air: religious hypocrisy. The venom pouring forth from a section of my Christian brethren regarding the Kadhis' Courts is not only frightening, it is also illuminating. It is now quite apparent that Bishop Dr. Margaret Wanjiru, the MP for Starehe, Assistant Minister for Housing and the propietor of the Jesus is Alive Ministry has a very large bone to pick with the Muslims in Kenya. It is not just the question of 'their' courts; she was also at the forefront of preventing the Jamia Mosque from exercising another of their constitutional rights with regards to a piece of property they had paid millions of shillings for in Nairobi.

Christianity preaches tolerance; Jesus exhorted us to turn the other cheek if we were persecuted. The good Bishop and her fellow-travelers have a different interpretation of Christian brotherhood. In their discourse, the world owes us a lot. Christianity is under siege - from pornographers, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, hip hop artistes, reggae musicians, Hollywood, etc. The Church is facing a declining congregation and declining collections. In Kenya, to 'grow' your church, you must give it a national profile. Dr. Wnajiru has found the perfect issue to help JIAM to gro: antipathy to the Islamic way of life.

Kenya has never had a distinct line between church and state. After all, this is not the United States of America. But there has always been the presumption that all views, religious and otherwise, would be considered when matters of national importance are discussed. Dr. Wanjiru and her supporters are of the opinion that contrarian opinions are dangerous and 'demonic' and must be challenged at every opportunity, even if they cost Kenya opportunities for advancement. As a nation, we have waited for a new constitution now going on 19 years. The Christian opposition to a draft that has yet to be published over a matter that the rest of the country saw as settled for over fifty years will cost us a new constitution, one that will ensure that we remain saddled with a constiitution that we have already decried as overbearing and prone to massive abuse. Perhaps this is the game plan after all. Ensure that we go into the next general elections to elect a national assembly and president who would enjoy the enormous corrupting power conferred by this constitution. If this is the goal of the sudden discovery of religious parity in our Christian brethren, they will saddle this country with one more of a rather short list of incompetent, corrupt and dictatorial presidents.

Haki Yetu is not just a rioting slogan

Reports in our normally very reliable newspapers indicate that a few of our high and mighty lords of politics have retained legal counsel fearing ICC indictments may be handed down against them. Further reports also indicate that some of our erstwhile human rights heroes and heroines object strongly to these men (and women) of influence retaining legal counsel. What I wish to know from the (conscientious?) objectors is whether they preach human rights for the alleged victims alone or not. In Kenya, theoretically, one is innocent until convicted by a court of law. I have no problem with the likes of Uhuru Kenyatta, George Saitoti, Franklin Bett and their fellow-travelers diverting significant amounts of their personal wealth to protecting their rather thin hides from the attentions of prosecutors, whether here in Kenya or thousands of kilometres away in The Hague. It is what the rule of law would demand of and for them. I would have no problem in them deploying their lawyers to preempt any attempt to extradite them to The Hague. I would take strong pains to champion their right to legal counsel at all costs.

However, if their intention is to defeat the course of justice using the power of their political office, then all bets would be off and I would advocate taking matters into wananchi's hands, violently or otherwise. What I would also take great exception to is the position adopted by our human rights champions: one simply cannot deny another Kenyan the right to take all legal steps to protect himself. The ones who have retained legal counsel must at the very least have faith in our judiciary. The ones who would like to organise kangaroo courts to obtain the judgments they believe these suspects richly deserve are doing our country a great disservice.

It is no longer moot to suggest that Kenya has the most dysfunctional judiciary in the world, second only to Afghanistan and Somalia. The Hague as a venue for determining the guilt or otherwise of the so-called perpetrators of the post-election violence seems like the most viable option, especially for those who bear the greatest responsibility. It would be remiss of us to deny them the right to counsel, the right to prevent their dirty laundry being aired in a court of law, even if it is thousands of kilometres away in a foreign land. Ms. Jaoko and her fellow campaigners are placing this country in jeopardy by denying their fellow Kenyans legal rights conferred upon them by our constitution, flawed as it is.

The rationale behind a judicial process is that it removes the right to retribution from individuals to a body that has credibility. Even judges are subject to it. Hasn't Justice GBM Kariuki undergone a judicial process that acquitted him of serious charges? The suspects in the violence that led to the deaths of thousands, the loss of private and public property worth billions and the displacement of hundreds of thousands must be given the opportunity to prove their innocence in a court of law. They cannot do this without the services of highly paid advocates. It is their right. Ni haki yao!

Opportunity Knocks

Now that the Prime Minister and his co-principal, the President have found a working style that works for them, it is time they started looking for that window of opportunity to do the right thing. it is becoming increasingly plain that Hon. Odinga (ODM, Langata) will not be elected President of Kenya. It is also increasingly plain that H.E. Mwai Kibaki will have no legacy to leave Kenyans save for the well-executed road construction taking place all over the country. As such, both have an opportunity to steer the country away from the likes of William Ruto, Isaac ruto, franklin Bett, William Ole Ntimama, Simon Mbugua, Peter Munya, Kiraitu Murungi, Kalonzo Musyoka, Mutula Kilonzo and all thos literate and semi-literate inciters, thieves, murderers and rapists currently occuppying the National Assembly. If only the pair of them would remove the blinders from their eyes and see the potential glory of their names in history, I would register as a voter today!

The wheel of justice grinds slowly ...

... but it grinds true! Thomas Gilbert Patrick Cholmondoley has been handed a sentence of eight, yes eight, months for the manslaughter of 'stone-mason' Timothy Njoya. Let me not join the band-wagon that will lampoon Justice Muga Apondi's sentence. After all, the accused had been accosted by armed poachers on his expansive ranch. Sure, he has a penchant for shooting 'innocent' people on his property, but the sanctity of private property cannot be violated willy nilly simply because the land-owner is a rich man.

This has been an interesting trial. Taking the better part of 3 years, it has exposed the challenges faced by those who cannot rub two shillings together. The Delamere descendant is a land-baron in all but name. His wealth in capital is almost Croesus-like. He is able to afford the best and in Fred Ojiambo, he found an advocate who clearly earned his brief. He has the choice of appealing the sentence but he would be wise not to. It has nothing to do with his pursuit of justice. He should simply thank whichever god he prays to that he was not convicted of murder, else he would be facing the hang-man's noose today. He is a lucky, lucky fellow and he should serve his term in peace and pray that no more misfortunes follow him.

The Myth

We are in the throes of an existensial crisis. My friends, we are going nowhere. Fast! Recent developments have shown up the myth of the multi-party polity. It was meant to foster democracy. That dream has been shattered to smithereens. There is no doubt that we need to rethink the configuration of leadership. How can we foster leadership, inculcate it in all Kenyans?

We must begin by admitting that we have failed ourselves and are failing our great nation. It is time that we began the long process of rebuilding national institutions, including government, religion, academia, sport, entertainment, the Fourth Estate, business, and foreign relations. It would mean redesigning our rules of leadership to remove or reduce conflicts of interest. When personal interests become the primary consideration when addressing matters of national concern, that is conflict of interest. None of our so-called leaders have been unable to separate the personal from the national and that is why lunatic statements like witchcraft in soccer are uttered by otherwise sensible old men or prime ministers will complain that they do not have assigned carpetted toilets.

Remove conflict of interest and the process of recreating leadership for the national good begins. Nzamba Kitonga and his team are sitting to draft a new constitution. They must consider all the other drafts that came before. Many had solid recommendations on how to govern. However, the constitution cannot change the character of Kenyans. That must begin from within.

I offer you a thought: If at any time you wanted or are a leader, and your desire was motivated by money or security for you and your family; if you considred the national good only after you had considered everything else, your are by all accounts a BAD leader. You will make a terrible president and your actions in any position of leadership will lead to loss in the long term.

Is it any wonder that we have very few innovative companies in Kenya? Is it any wonder that we are suspicious of all religions and religious denominations? Change your character and change the world.

The way of the gun?

When they formed the 2003 Narc government, Raila and Kibaki could not imagine the lengths to which their friends and enemies would go to ensure that their agenda would not survive. Mr. Kibaki was unwell, some say he was near death’s door. Raila was NOT the vice president; his ego would not permit it. It is this essential error that ensured that the fate of this country would be for the worse.

The so-called Mt. Kenya Mafia, in the period of the president’s convalescence, took over the reins of power and ensured that all potential future threats against their praetor would be met with defeat if not total annihilation. Raila Odinga and his LDP rebels were sidelined in decision-making; they were denied executive power in any form. Instead, Kibaki’s vice-president, the late Michael Kijana Wamalwa, was bolstered just enough to ensure the LDP did not become a force within government. All the instruments of power - the police, armed forces, finance, internal security – were concentrated among trusted allies of the Mt. Kenya Mafia.

If only Kibaki, upon his recovery, had honoured the secret MoU with the LDP, Kenya would have been spared the bloodshed of 2008. However, this was not to be. With that betrayal, the die was cast. The LDP rebelled during the referendum for the draft new constitution and solidified into a force to reckon with during the 2007 general elections. That it prevailed as the ODM is no consolation as the ODM is not in charge of the executive power in Kenya today. In attempting to redress the balance of power between the erstwhile coalition partners, they greatly underestimate the spoiler role that ODM-K’s Kalonzo Musyoka is bound to play in the next 3 years. It would be riskier if they were to presume that because his political constituency is concentrated in Ukambani, with one or two pockets of dissent, he is a weakling or without resources.

Kalonzo is the V-P. In the event the president becomes incapacitated, the V-P takes over. That is a constitutional reality and the National Accord amendments in the Constitution will not change it. Raila, as PM, has no executive power. ‘Supervise’ is such an amorphous word that is near impossible to apply to government. And to ignore the role played by the permanent secretary in the office of the president is simply foolhardy (or foolish, depending on where you stand). It is now dawning on the ODM that they made a desert and called it peace and now they are all dying of thirst while the PNU hogs all the oases.

It is time that Raila admitted to himself and to the nation that he will NEVER be president of this country – his time has passed. It is time to start grooming the next national leaders of this country. Even the likes of Joshua Kutuny have time and opportunity on their side. The old warriors should make arrangements for their retirement. This is the only way that Kenya can move forward. Say it ain’t so!

The 2 Principals Must Go!

We must agree that it is important to have dialogue in any confrontation. We cannot simply bury our heads in the sand and pretend that the problem affects someone else. That is what Kenyans are doing today - pretending that the political problems facing us are someone else's problem. This fact cannot be wished away. We must face it head on and we must come to terms with it.

Prime Minister Raila Odinga and President Kibaki are not fit to hold high office. They have played with our lives and our national treasures simply to assuage their enormous egos. In their political calculations, Kenyans were not a factor, merely and excuse to engage in political brinkmanship. The result is that hundreds of Kenyans died and hundreds of thousands list their properties.

The coalition of the greedy has not brought about an improvement in our lives. Indeed, it has been a source of ever increasing misery. It is this coalition that has stolen food from the hungry, murdered innocent people, misused public funds, and sold public properties to foreigners for a song. It has refused to take any steps towards national cohesion or a new constitutional dispensation. It has began to attack an independent judiciary with sophistry and cant. It is a liability and it must be brought down.

It is our duty to remove Raila and Kibaki and their cohorts from power. They have proven time and again to have feet of clay. They don't have our interests at heart. we need a new breed of leaders. While I disagree with the NCCK on many issues, they are correct. We must have fresh elections, a new parliament and a new cabinet. Then we can move on.

Lack of vision

We must all take responsibility for the situation we find ourselves in today. It is not enough to rail against the system while we have refused to hold the members of the establishment to account for their deeds and misdeeds. The situation in Kenya today is one in which all the institutions of governance, whether political, social, moral or academic, are crumbling and bereft of leadership.

Leadership should inspire us to attempt the impossible - to shoot the moon, so to speak. We are living in a bankrupt age: bereft of any ideas save for the hustle. Take the example of our public universities: When the KU students went on the rampage in the past few weeks, we bemoaned the fact that they caused damage to public and private property in the pursuit of their demands. Vice Chancellor Mugenda is powerless to stop the violence from spilling onto Thika Road because she epitomizes the state of leadership in public institutions: it doesn't exist.

While her appointment may have been based on her professional qualifications, it is now becoming apparent that that was not the only criteria that she was evaluated by. as in appointments to all other institutions, he political temperature was also gauged and when she was found to be acceptable on that basis, her appointment came to pass. There is risk, however. Whenever irrelevant considerations are made, the long term goals of an institutions run the risk of being compromised if the newly installed leadership bereft of any vision. This is the situation that KU finds itself today. from all accounts, Prof. Mugenda runs the university along the same draconian lines that Moi-era leaders ran their dockets. She does not listen to new ideas, she does not tolerate constructive criticism and she will not countenance that others may be smarter and more experienced than her. Many of the experienced people in the University have given up attempting to advise her and have decided to sit back and watch the destruction of the institutions.

this is not in any way to absolve the student leadership. it too has failed to evolve with the times. Not many student leaders have any experience in addressing the needs and requirements of the students who elected them to office. They are, more sadly, not even interested in learning the basic tenets of leadership. If Joshua Kutuny is anything to go by, student leaders only see their future in terms of entering the national assembly as MPs. None sees their role as being to ensure that the universities where they learn improve to height before unknown.

And this is the malaise afflicting our country. In institution after institution, the lack of a genuine leadership has impacts far greater than that of poor management. The lack of a vision is the reason why programmes and policies as the Vision 2030 will not succeed. We don't have visionaries anymore and we are to blame. in our desire to protect our ethnic bailiwicks, we have promoted charlatans and snake-oil salesmen to positions of power and authority but not leaders. We shall continue to suffer so long as we make the wrong calculations. this is a fact. Let us accept it and deal with it.

Wako and Martha: Gemini Twins

So Martha Karua and Amos Wako had a very public spat over one thing or the other. It really doesn't matter what their fight was about - what matters is that Kenyans are suddenly inundated with tales of their legal prowess. Are they really that good? I mean, what are their credentials? Mr. Wako attended some of the finest schools in Kenya and abroad. So did Ms. Karua. However, their conducts over the past five years, suggest that the best of their legal minds have been suborned for the greater political glory that accompanies their respective posts (if glory it is).

According to some (foreign) people, Mr. Wako is the embodiment of ... something or the other. What some of us know is that Amos Wako was Moi's A-G and now he is Kibaki's. He's managed to 'advise' the government every step of the way since the infamous Goldenberg whatnot came to light in the mid-90's and for the foreseeable future, shall continue to the same job. The Smiling A-G is after all a great survivor and keeper of dark secrets and he knows where ALL the bodies are buried. Ms. Karua is a different kettle of fish. Back in the day, when she and Raila saw eye to eye, she was a great believer in human rights and collective responsibility. So long as she could charge Moi with violating human rights and ask that his cabinet be equally culpable, she and Raila were team mates. Can the same claim be made in her favour today?

Sure, she wants to run for the presidency, come the next presidential elections. But will she protect us poor folk? He record in the defense of human rights has taken a serious beating. Her position on collective responsibility has become so modified as to be a brand new doctrinal position altogether. The day she resigns from cabinet and takes on the powers that be directly is the day she will become a credible presidential candidate. Until the, she is one of the boys in more ways than one.

Are you horny or desperate?

Contrary to popular opinion, the two are not the same. Horny people just want to bust a nut. Desperate people want a spouse, or a partner, at least. I just spent a week with a person who was both horny and desperate. It was not a pretty sight. This person tended to act in a manner to suggest that they needed a mental facility. Salivating all over some stranger is not good. When the stranger refuses to reciprocate your attentions, it is even worse. Where you keep doing it anyway, is the nadir of folly.

We have to decide to keep our professional and personal lives separate. Simply make a rule: anyone we encounter in our professional capacity will not become a target of our amorousness and vice versa. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and this one is no different. To exercise the option, the standard must be high, very high. You don't want to break your rules lightly, not for some skank whom you'll dump the moment you are infected by some mysterious unmentionable ailment. You gotta decide, are you horny or desperate? But damn, I hope you are not both!

The tax-dodgers from Ukambani (not Muthama, though)

The benevolent munificence of the tax-dodging mambers of the 10th Parliament knows no bounds - now the Akamba members of that august House want to establish a KES 1 billion fund for the region. This being the Kenya I know and love, I should not be blamed if I receive this information with a significant quantity of salt. I know my MPs - munificent and benevolent, they are not. Not without some ulterior motive. Take for example, Mrs. Ngilu was a darling of her people when she was in charge of Health (we all got free health-care in Ukambani) but she is a disaster in the Water portfolio.

The good lawyer Mutula Kilonzo has been reduced to issuing platitudes and promises of 'swimming in Nairobi river within a year'. The other Kilonzos, Kiema and Charles, are apparently mouths for hire with little experience in the cut and thrust of competitive electoral politics (they should have a chinwag with Gideon Ndambuki, he'll set them straight).

Politicians in charge of large sums of money conjure up visions of their expanding waist lines and spreading buttocks at the expense of the mwananchi. Instead of these 'leaders' playing their role and lobbying government for the relevant funds for the development of the area, they intend to hoodwink us with a large wad of cash in the hope that we won't call them on their failings. I was glad that the shaded visage of The Boss was not there to be seen; else I would have been very disappointed if the Hon. Member for Kilome associated himself with the charlatans and loudmouths at the 'top of KICC'. While he has a hands-on approach to the development of Kilome, I am afraid that his particular model may not be self-sustaining after his departure to parts elsewhere. What we demand of our leaders is help on 'how to fish' rather than the fish itself.

An Evil Odd Couple

Now what? Somehow "I told you so" seems inappropriate, doesn't it. But I did warn you. They will never put one of their own in harm's way. The masterminds, financiers and footsoldiers that rained blood on this nation will never be brought to book. Not so long as that unholy couple is in power.

What surprised me (though it shouldn't have) is the way Kenyans spoke with hope of the possibilities of a Local Tribunal or a trip to The Hague. Haven't we learnt anything of the past 45 odd years of Uhuru? There is one thing you can put money on and receive short odds at the bookies: politicians have never and will never correctly read the mood of the people and do the right thing. Not so long as we keep taking money and bull-shit from them in equal measure. Not so long as we keep breaking the petty laws so they THEY can break the major ones. Not so long as we keep believing that our fate is in the hands of the government. Not so long as we believe short-cuts and panya routes are the only means to success.

I am glad though, that Kibaki and Raila were humiliated in Parliament yesterday. I never liked their partnership; not in 2002 and not in this bastardization of coalition politics. They are an odd couple: they spend more time intriguing against each other, it is even doubful they have any time to run the government and their political parties at the same time. Not to mention, meet the needs of the constituents that sent them to Parliament. I mean, what have Raila and Kibaki done for the people of Kibera or Othaya. Kibera is still largely a slum and Othaya is still largely a backward Kikuyu village. In that they have a common purpose: screw the common mwananchi.

Mr. Raila is increasingly starting to resemble the toadying politician-fixer of the Kanu days. Greedy and grasping with no shame or conscience. When 10 million Kenyans are dying of hunger, he fires an obscure aide in his office as part of his 'zero tolerance' to corruption while his fellow MPs are busy writing love notes to the MD of the NCPB to favour one thieveing 'miller' or the other. How do you explain one Mr. Jackson Kibor making KES 85 million without spending a cent of his own or even being a miller? "Ni biashara," he says. Raila and Kibaki remain silent. And people keep on dying.

One day, Karma will bite them in the ass. At least, God does not allow sin to go unpunished ... even if it be visited upon the 3rd and 4th generations. Vengence will be ours!

Told You So

Now what? Somehow "I told you so" seems inappropriate, doesn't it. But I did tell you. They will never see things from your perspective - you inow it as well as I do. Saitoti, Michuki, Raila, Orengo, et al are all cut from the same cloth, are two sides to the same coin, as as Janus-faced as the best of the rest. In politics, all that remains in Kenya is the amassing and preservation of wealth and power. And so, to preserve these, they will seek to have a tribunal they can 'control' (read, manipulate). Good luck to you all.

The Hague or Not The Hague

It is now apparent that there are issues to be resolved before the perpetrators of the murder, mayhem and chaos of January to March 2008 are to be brought to book. First, the good members of the august house we like to call the National Assembly conspired to water down the language of the Draft Bill on the Tribunal. Then they came to a tribal alliance to protect each other in the event of adverse mention by the tribunal. Then, they finally connived to intimidate potential witnesses by their public utterances.

Thankfully, one or two characters saw through their charadae. But, do they come with clean hands? Mr. Imanyara's gambit to delay the process may eventually ensure the matter goes to the ICC. But, is Ms. Karua right to say athat many of the culprits will go free as the ambit of the ICC is so narrow? So was Mr. Imanyara's act to ensure that suspects were tried at the Hague or to ensure they would not face the full brunt of the law? Time will tell.

The problem is that we were quick to dismiss the Kenya Penal Code. The main reason was that there were apparently legitimate fears that the Kenyan Judiciary was compromised from the get-go. What that assumption failed to address was the apparent courage of one Hon. Mr. Justice Philip Waki of the Court of Appeal. If he exists, then surely there must be others like him. Unless he is looked upon as a weed in a garden of corruption!

Wouldn't it have been easier to draft a new law to try these fellows under the existing legal framework (giving a nod to the Constitution), by hiring outside investigators (the FBI and Scotland Yard come to mind), which we have done before, to conduct the investigations, forcing all named persons to stand down from their positions of power and authority, and by establsihing independent fast-track courts specially mandated to hear these trials? This whole tribunal/ICC dance is a distraction; it may end up that none of the perpetrators will ever face the justice they so richly deserve. That would be a crying shame, ama?

A Valentine's Day Wedding

Romance in these times is a precious commodit and my friend has chosen February 14th to solemnise his long-term relationship to his partner. That is beautiful. Most of you know of my position regarding marriage. Howver, do not be surprised that I am celebrating, nay, participating in my friend's special day. He gives me hope that if many were as careful, caring, steadfast, determined and principled as he, then I wouldn't need to seriously consider a specialisation in divorce law! I wish my friends a long partnership, joy and happiness in their future.

Leave the Old Gal alone!

Now, there are things you can do when you are angry. For instance, you can walk into Garissa Lodge and buy an AK-47 and wipe out your office-mates ... or you can do what the First Lady did - give a press conference and demand that your questions be answered. As a mother and as a citizen, Mrs. Kibaki has every right to use her position in relation to Baba Jimmy to demand better from George Saitoti and his fellow ministers. And the president was right in stating that despite his wife's feelings, he still reposed faithy in the good Professor, even if he shouldn't have.

The media discourse on whether she should or shouldn't have asked for explanations from the dramatis personae of our most recent misfortunes is neither here nor there. What is germane is the fact that we, the ordinary citizens, the electors, are incapable of demanding accountability from our representatives and leaders. If it takes a person of Mrs. Kibaki's position to do so on our behalf, then more power to her.

I disagree with the First Lady on many issues - but let it not be said that I would not defend her honour against any person that would seek to tarnish her name. She has faced many challenges and she has made a few mistakes. Like Jesus said, "He who is without sin..." It cannot be gainsaid that while our politicians were maneuvering to find the most advantageous position to knife each other, Mrs. K cut through the bullshit and spoke her mind. She was the only national figure to demand that our vulnerable girls and children at the Coast be protected from sexual exploitation and abuse. And today, she is the only one demanding that ministers be held to account for the unwarranted deaths of scores of Kenyans. And for that, this nation owes her a great debt of gratitude that it has not even began to repay.

What will the Gooners do now?

When GTV finally went off the air on Sunday (or was it Friday), there was almost a nationwide day of mourning confined to the pubs, of course. One of my colleagues at work knows more about Arsenal that he does about opening a post office box. He knows Arsene Wenger's entire biography while he would be hard-pressed to name any significant dates in the life of his political hero, Raila Odinga. This is interesting: we have created a new religion and we call it football. We understand football statistics the way actuaries understand insurance premia. Yet, the bible still remains a mystery. Perhaps the death of the GTV is a good thing; perhaps men and women will find time to restore some sanity to their lives. Read a little, talk a litlle and make friends.

Are we really that desperate?

Geoge Saitoti is a millionaire many times over, perhaps even a billionaire. Who knows? What we do know is that he will not want for anything in the near future. It is highly unlikely that we will see him scrambling across wetlands of fuel to scoop some for sale at the nearest market centre so that he can feed his dependents. The First Lady is also not a from a humble background, not today anyway. She enjoys all the trappings of the spouse of a head of state. Yet their takes on the tragedies that have befallen the victims of the fires in Nairobi and Molo tell a story of the near continental divide among leaders in Kenya today.

There are those who have realised (belatedly) that they cannot continue to use us as cannon-fodder for their political wars. Others, however, do not care whether we live or die so long as they can loot the National Treasury. Mrs. Kibaki exposed the vacuity of some of our leaders by questioning Prof. Saitoti's callous remark about the imperatives of poverty compelling some of my unfortunate brothers and sisters to risk life and limb in the search for a meal. Had he taken time to run this statement through his admittedly well-organised brain, he would have come to the conclusion that while his sentiments may be true, there are many truths as to the misfortunes befalling the good people of this benighted land.

Some have ascribed them to the powers of darkness; other have ascribed them to the venality of those in power. What is certain is that these people in positions of responsibility and power have done precious little to ameliorate the suffering of the tens of millions of Kenyans facing starvation, famine, drought, disease, pestilence and all manner of avoidable risks. It is dispiriting to witness thieves and robber-barons sitting in the august chambers of the National Assembly inveighling against corruption in high office and other vices while their bank balances could fund several district hospitals for years without having to bother the guardians of the Consolidated Fund.

Yes, we are really that desperate. While the fat cats in Parliament roll around in their Mercs, Beemers, Rangeys and Pajs, we must make do with the recklessly handled City Hoppas and 14-seater matatus. While they can afford five course lunches at the Parliamentary cafeteria, we must make do with a one-square at the local kibanda. Anything more, and we must make a choice between food and transport. Don't even get me started on where we live as compared to their palaces in Runda and Muthaiga. The plain fact is that whenever we see a trailer on its side spilling paraffin or kerosene or petrol, risk to life and limb is not a deterrent to the opportunity to provide for our families by engaging in potentially suicidal siphoning missions. After all, the Judases that promised us jobs and food haven't done anything for us, have they?

President Kibaki's Curse

Am I the only one who sees it. More have died or been injured in Kibaki's short tenure proportinately compared to the much-hated Moi and Kenyatta reigns of terror. I believe he has lost more Ministers and MPs through tragedies and crime than any other president, Kenyatta-era assassinations included. And more of his MPs and Cabinet members have been implicated in crime than at any other time in history. Tell me this is not an accursed administration. Is this not the Voice of God clearly telling us: "Get rid of this man!"

There will be blood!

We have become rather good at wringing our hands in sorrow everytime the sky falls on our heads. But, this previous week has been especially brutal. First, so many die in the Nakumatt fire. Just as we are coming to terms with that tragedy, an overturned tanker explodes and more lives are lost. And in the background, is the grim reality that many more Kenyans shall die slowly and painfully of starvation. Just because their deaths will not be mercifully brief as those of the ones incinerated or blown up, it will not make them any less tragic. Or painful.

There are now mutterings of a new disaster-management system for the country with clear lines of authority and responsibility. Mutula and his shiny new ministry are seized of the matter. So is Mudavadi in his not-so-new one. And Kalonzo is busy praying for all and sundry. Baba Jimmy, however, takes the biscuit: he's ordered a five-day mourning period for those that lost their lives in the two infernos. But not for the ones dying of starvation.

And herein lies the rub: he knows that the venality and corruption of his perfidious government will not change. Ever. He will not further endanger his immortal soul by praying to the Almighty when he knows the he alone is responsible for the thousands that will starve to death. We would all like to blame Ruto & Co. for the theft of millions of tonnes of grain from the mouths of the hungry, but the fact is the buck stops with the president. He is the boss. His employees are behaving like bulls in ten million China shops. And no matter how many people die, he will not wish to rock the boat because he has a promise to keep. Not to Kenyans, but to his fellow-traveller Raila Odinga. These two characters have a lot of blood on their hands. When we write our history, it will not show the courage they displayed when they brought down Moi's regime, but the number of lives that were lost to satisfy their bloody lust for power.

Raila's Kryptonite

Superman had kryptonite, Rail ahas that massive chip on his shoulder that says 'Kenya owes me!' He nshould have known better to arbble-rouse against the media in his home turf of Kibera - a slum many of whose inhabitants cannot afford to buy the materian from the Standard Group. Indeed, it is instructive that the PM did not and could not point to any specific issue that had so irked him that he threatened to 'deal with them'. His mealy-mouthed attempt to explain himself smacks of wounded pride and shame. The meaning of his threat was clear. Weren't Raila and his fellow-travellers in government when the Standard Group had its facilities raided in 2005? Has Raila now discovered new information in the records of government to suggest that the Standard Group is a threat, if not national security-wise, but politically?

All those who climb to the top of the greasy pole by stepping on toes, eventually let their success go to their head. The day the Grand Coalition was formed was the day the fight against high-level graft stopped; Raila's explanations that he will fight graft from the inside is all talk and no trousers. He knows this and he knows that at least the Standard Group knows it too. Here's a sample of the coalitions greatest hits: Triton-berg, NCPB-berg, the sugar-industry imbroglio, the sale of SafCom shares, and now the deaths of thousands and the risk of millions more dying of starvation. He has given up the fight.Does he have an honest answer, especially to the millions of Kenyans who will starve because of his government's perfidy?

Please, hold my brief!

Four shit-inducing words for the novice. It's even worse when you have to ask a lady advocate, because more often than not, she'll say no!. I don't know why - men are more arrogant with clearly colossus-sized egos. So why is it that they are more generous when it comes to holding briefs for others? It can't be because they like spending time in court corridors. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they tend to make exceptional mentors and assisting one another fosters that sense of camaredire among colleagues.

The day before yesterday, a femal-mentorship programme was launched at the UoN and I wonder if it will succeed. Ms. Passaris is no doubt a very successful person, by any standard and if she is offering to mentor Uni-types, that is all well and good. It just shouldn't be one of those women's empowerment programmes that come a cropper because the ladies in question are busy being their very worst nature. Here's to them not emulating the lady-advocates of Milimani Commercial courts.

Death will be too good for them

When you look at Kenya in the here and now, you are shocked by the images of hunger and thirst...the desperation of a people reeling from one politically-inspired mess to another. Kenya is living proof that there are those for whom the milk of human kindness is a figment of a lunatic's imagination. I am talking about our political class. Three years ago, you would be hard-pressed to identify Raila Amolo Odinga with the oppressors of the poor. The likes of William Ruto and his South Rift cohort had gorged themselves during the Good Old Kanu days. When they realised that the Old Man had other plans for them, they simply removed themselves en masse to an entitiy that would keep them in truffles-NARC. Today, as PLO Lumumba said, the forest has changed but the monkeys have remained the same.

The catstrophes visited upon the poor and marginalised have not diminished one iota since the Second Liberation was declared won by Mwai Kibaki and his fellow-travellers. He has presided over some of the greatest financial scandals this country has witnessed. He has presided over the steady erosion of Kenya's influence in its near abroad - first by appointing that idiot Raphael Tuju and compunding the error by appointing the moron Wetangula to replace him when the good people of Rarieda no longer required his services. He has presided over the expropriation of public assets for private gain - the NCPB has become the private grannery of a corpulent privileged few while at least 10 million Kenyans starve slowly to death.

The dead tell no tales, so they say, but they have long memories and long reaches. If the thieving 10th Parliament believes that it will escape the opprobrium of the masses, let the events of January 2008 be a warning. Then they got Kenyans to slaughter one another in the name of 'power-sharing'. They play their games while our people die. That is the reality. That reality will not last forever. Our hunger and anger will run over and we will vent at the venal class that rules us - they don't lead; they RULE. Velvet gloves over iron fists, that's our government (Parliament, Executive and Judiciary).

Simply lining them against the walls of the National Assembly and mowing them down with AK-47s will not salve our wound or satisfy our rage. No, they must be made to pay back every last cent they have squandered building 100 million shilling Vice-Presidential palaces of vice, purchasing 700 million Prime Ministerial offices, and other items of conspicous government consumption. They must enjoy the highly motivated and enthusiastic attentions of prison warders in Kapenguria and Shimo La Tewa. They must live as we live...struggling to put a kilo of meat in the sufuria!

The Inauguration II

When he intoned those words, "I Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear..." my heart, such as it is, swelled in pride. Here was a Luo abandoned by his father, raised by his mother and grandparents on 3 continents. And today, he is the President of the USA, ushering in a new era of US history. Kenyans, well some of us anyway (excluding Mutua, Baba Jimmy, Moses Wetangula ... mnajijua), have high hopes of his presidency, not just for what he can do for us but for inspiring us to make a better life for ourselves and future generations.

Collectively, Kenyatta, Moi, Kibaki and Raila have fucked up our country irreparably. It's time we emulated the Obamania and demanded change - real change - of our political rulers. It has been a variation of the same corrupt and venal regime since independence and I have no doubt that a Raila or Ruto or Saitoti or Karua dispensation would be equally if not more corrupt and venal.

These people have proven time and again that they do not have the spirit or the will to look out for the 'ordinary mwananchi'. Their stomachs come first...so now we have the likes of Ababu Namwamba being implicated in the shenanigans surrounding the food shortages at the NCPB. And at one time he was touting himself as a leader of the 'opposition' and you remember where my position was on that little drama?

The Inauguration

It occurs to me that Obama ran a near-perfect campaign. He identified the most talented members of his party as well as some outside it and he ran a disciplined, well-organised campaign. But it is not the fact that the campaign succeeded where others foundered that impresses in the context of Kenya's shambolic and corrupt campaigns. No, it is the fact that his team was a well-judged blend of the Old School and the New, old and experienced coupled with youthful and capable of enormous amounts of work. And it paid off in the best possible way. He has a clear mandate to lead and a lot of goodwill going into his 100 days. However, it is not strange that David Miliband or his German and Italian counter-parts are not in Washington DC today.

However, the spectacle of Wetangula and Anyang' Nyong'o attending a 'bash' was, perhaps, not the wisest thing to. The argument that you must leave the confines of your borders to better appreciate world perceptions and broaden your world-view cannot apply to the entourage in DC. No, our rulers have consistently demonstrated a deaf ear to the cries of reason and moderation from the people of this our nation. As hunger saps the energies of millions, this Government is expending precious resources to transport a so-so Foreign Minister and his sidekicks to a nation that is not waitng to receive them with open arms - if they seriously thought they would be given audience by US administration officials this week of all weeks, then all their education is for shit. That is a job left to professional diplomats and career bureacrats. Ohhh ... I forgot, we don't have those either, having politicised the diplomatic and civil services.

The law is an ass...

Today, the Court of Appeal declined to hear motions in 2 election petitons because of the disbandment of the Electoral Commission of Kenya and the failure by the government to establish the Interim Independent Electoral Commission. Mr. Justice Riaga Amollo chastised counsel for the applicant and counsel for the erstwhile ECK, and asked them 'who was instructing them?' If the ECK is 'dead', then all proceedings in which it is a party die with it. Indeed, Mr. Kioko Kilukumi pointed out that Cap. 2, Laws of Kenya, does not and cannot apply to the Constitution.

Today's fiasco could have been avoided if the drafters of the Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act (No. 10) of 2008 had included a savings and transitional clause. However, even this clause could not have cured the provisions of Cap. 2.

This is a pattern that has been repeated time and again since the creation of the Coalition Government of Kibaki, Odinga and Musyoka. The Amendments made to the Constitution in 2008 did not consider the impact those hastily drafted clauses would heve in the early part of 2009. Now, ODM claims that Amb. Francis Muthaura, the head of the civil service, is overstepping his mark and that his role should ideally be played by the Prime Minister. Mutula Kilonzo and James Orengo, two experienced senior lawyers, have squared off in this matter and neither is backing down, both claiming that the Constitution of Kenya supports their point of view. Both are correct and both are wrong.

The problem is not a legal one or a constitutional one; it is political. Kibaki and Odinga do not trust each other and from their behavior in the past 12 months, they never will. It is time Kenyans realised this basic truth and acted accordingly. It would be in our best interests to confine Raila and Kibaki, and their entourages, acolytes, brown-nosers and hangers on to the dust-bin of history. Else, the law will keep kicking us in the ass.

It is because of their mutual distrust that 'errors' like the ones contained in the IIEC law have found their way therein. If they trusted each other, it would astonish you at the speed and intellect that would be deployed to come up with a good law. As the situation stands now, all election petitions at the High Court and the Court of Appeal, are stayed until the legal tomfoolery is corrected. But do you trust those ones at risk of losing their seats? I know I don't. Not one of them will vote to amend the Constitution to ensure that the petitons are heard to their logical conclusion.

The Shame of it all

I am still amazed that Kenyans expect the politicians to do the right thing. When the Communications Amendment Bill is signed into law, it will not be because Kibaki does not understand its implications - he understands them only too well. When he and Raila arrived at an arrangement to deal with the matter of the tribunal, we were not privy to what was discussed. It is entirely possible that they are trying to bring the matter to a close in the most judicious manner possible. However, our experiences of these two principals is different.

Kibaki has betrayed his political allies in the past. So has Raila. So why won't they betray us on this small matter of investigating, trying and punishing those who caused so much death and destruction earlier this year? Why? Because it is in their nature.

I once asked why Kenyans reposed so much faith in their local politicians during elections. I still do not have a convincing answer, except that Kenyans are political idiots and they swallow the lines that politicians lay down. It is this level of stupidity that has persuaded the political class that they can ride rough-shod over us, shit on us and take us for granted.

It is why when the parties held their elections to comply with the Political Parties Act, cabinet ministers and 'senior' MPs took over the paerty organs at local and national level. This is in stark contrast to other mature democracies where the party and the state are two separate entities. These people are repeating the same errors of the KANU dicatorship. It is only a matter of time that our hunger and anger grows to be too heavy a burden to carry and we will act.

A clean break with the past?

When the Hon. Mr. Justice Philip Waki gave retired UN Secretary-General Koffi Annan that envelope, he broke with a past that was filled with death and disappointment. All previous Commissions of Inquiry, barring perhaps the Kriegler Commission, have had one true mandate - to give the government time to regroup after committing offences and getting caught. Even the Hon. Mr. Justice Kriegler (ret.) could not escape from the Kenyan way of doing things - he did not come out and state what we all suspected: that PNU stole the elections and that the ECK helped them do it. He apportioned blame equally which was the same as shelving the report as all previous reports have been shelved - just mention the Kiruki Commission and see what happens.

Justice Waki has destroyed an edifice that Moi and Kenyatta and, yes, Kibaki have spent the past 46 years creating. he has shown that given imagination and strength of character, one man can indeed make a difference. Now, while we may not have much faith in his brethren on the bench, Mr. Waki has shown us that we can repose our full faith in him without trepidation.

If only the political class, or as some of us think of them, the political underworld were so promising. The idiocies that have characterised theantics mo the so-called unofficial opposition beggar belief. But it is when their interests align, PNU and ODM, opposition and establishment, front-bencers and back-benchers, presidential candidates and also-rans, that they really show their true colours.

The side show between Martha Karua and Kiraitu Muungi, Mr. Johnstone Muthama and his cohorts over the payment of taxes on allowanvces collected by MPs simply tells me this: they will never put my needs first. Kenya is in great and urgent need of a sbetter higher education system, a robust economy, an efficient public and civil service, and security of the person and property. These hyenas in suits have done nothing to see to it that our priorities are addressed. It does not help that the so-called principles (Kibaki, Raila and Kalonzo) are the three legs of a stool that cannot support the weight of the population's aspirations because of their individual weaknesses - Kibaki, because he is a lame duck; Raila, because of his unbriddled ambition; and Kalonzo, because of his treachery.

In one fell swoop, Mr. Justice Waki showed us that it is possible to break with the past. It is now up to all of us to either emulate him or snuff out the candle of hope that he has lit for us.

Freedom of the press and freedom of speech

When the Communications Act becomes law by way of presidential assent, the members of the Fourth Estate vehemently opposed to it will have no one to blame but themselves. This is a fact of Kenyan political life. And if the editors of the Nation Media Group, the Standard Group and the other players in the news market deny that they are political players, they will never get off the state's, and indeed the National Assembly's, black-list. They will also not see the support of the masses in their bid for fairness.

When the Standard Group had its newspaper's premises raided and equipment impounded without explanation, did you see the huddled masses on the streets rioting on behalf of the media conglomerate? We simply tut-tutted, and changed the channel. This answer should tell the media houses that we have our own problems and the fact that they have not done anything to champion our rights means that we don't have to do anything to champion theirs. Who gives a damn about a free press when he goes hungry or is unemployed or has had his farmland confiscated without the due process of law?

The partisanship that was displayed by the media, which I believe contributed significantly to the chaos after the results of the 2007 general elections were announced, have persuaded Kenyans that the media is not out to look after the people's interests but its own.

The problems bedeviling the people of Kenya can be laid at the doors of the politicians and the media houses that give them air time, whose commentaries do not address the root causes of our problems, and whose profit-driven editorial content places more emphasis on retaining ad revenue than speaking truth to power. Until they face the truth of whe they are, the media have no business conflating a free fress with freedom of speech.

My right to free speech, my freedom to speak and think as I please, cannot be equated with the freedom of the Fourth Estate to lie and distort the truth in the name of a free press. I am sure that a free press is vital in the West; they have developed to a point where the people will listen and appreciate the assistance being offered - after all, many of the issues affecting the western world are litigated and interrogated in the press first. Kenya, and Africa, are remarkably and shockingly different. At least, during the Kanu era days, one had a very ggod idea where at least on newspaper stood.

The situation today is unparalleled in the manner in which the Kenyan press has become so wedded to the idea of more money that the rights of the people no longer feature in their abacuses. Their attempts to tempt the youth with professionally produced tabloids - for how would you describe the Nairobi Star and the Daily Metro? - simply prove that they are not interested in informing the people of the problems they are facing and propose solutions. Entertainment is all well and good, but what use is it for a media conglomerate to own radio and TV stations if it cannot nuse them to entertain?

They have failed us and they have failed themselves. They shouldn't ask us to help them out of this government-sanctioned turkey-shoot for they did nothing for us when we were at the receiving end of an enthusiastic, highly motivated politically inspired or government-sponsored lynch-mob.

Another crack at the church

Regular readers of this post may be worried that I am an atheist - or worse, an apostate. However, let me make it clear that I am a Christian who holds traditional Christian values like loving thy neighbour and honouring my father and mother ... You know the rap. I am also a firm believer in the judge-not-lest-you-be-judged creed, and I take great pleasure in judging those who purport to judge me. This week, it is the various Christain denominations that went out of their way to ensure that their (female) congregants were dressed "decently".

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It seems, that decency is also in the eyes of the beholder. But I have to ask, what have these leaders of the flock been reading and watching to determine that tumbo-cuts, micro-minis, drain-pipe trousers, body-hugging tops, et al are indecent? I would have though that so long as you were not walking naked, that was decent enough.

This is where I differ with the church. We claim that Kenya is a free country - that we are all free to make certain choices so long as those choices do not impact on my neighbour. I also have the freedom to worship where I am welcome. However, if at the beginning of my relationship with your church, the only rule was to open my wallet for the colection and the tithe, tou can't come later on and add new rules as to what colour underwear I will wear.

We have come a long way in the past 15 years. Even the stodgy old government has given up the rule that prevented female civil servanats from wearing pant-suits. It is called choice and we have failed to teach our children and the less intellectually curious the responsibilities that go along with choice. We cannot try to impose our own sartorial, or other, values on an ignorant and resistant polity. Therefore, the Church and its affiliate institutions, must take on the arduous job of teaching and guiding once again and concentrate less on making money. You are here to save souls, not people from fashion faux pas.

Tobacconomics

In recent days, some have stated that the cost of treating cigarette smoking-related ailments costs the government a significant amount - six times the revenue generated, by some estimates. Now, this figure may be correct - or not. It all depends on some facts being brought to light. Do the anti-tobacco campaigners have any hard data to present? Let's see if they can answer these questions:
1. How many cigarette-smoking ailments are recorded each year in Kenya?
2. How many of these cases are treated in government-run health facilities?
3. What is the cost of treating these ailments?
4. How much of this cost is borne by the government?
5. How much revenue is generated from tobacco companies?
6. How much revenue is generated from tobacco-users?
7. How many of the tobacco-users suffer from tobacco-related ailments?
8. How many of them seek treatment from government-run health institutions?

The list is endless. Now unless the likes of Mr. Ndubi and Co. can answer these questions, their position starts to seem like a case of over-enthusiastic anti-smoking do-gooding. He quotes EMCA - specifically section 3 - on the fact that every person in Kenya is entitled to a clean and healthy environment. He forgets to mention that every person in kenya has a duty to safeguard and enhance the environment.

It is a fact that the air quality in Nairobi is not affected only by cigarette smoking, but also by the many factories in the industrial area, the thousands of vehicles that are poorly maintaining spewing sulfates and oxides into the air, the open-air incinerators in residential areas - the list is endless. If one were to stand along the sidewalk of a busy Nairobi street s,oking a cigarette, it is my contention that the amount of air pollution caused would be negligible. Indeed, I would argue that it would be next to impossible to cause any form of second-hand smoking-related ailment. One is more likely to suffer from URTI due to the general poor quality of the air in Nairobi, of which second hand cigarette smoke is a minor component.

As a smoker, I am for reasonable restriction on where smoking can take place. The restrictions, however, must be reasonable. I agree with the total ban on smoking in government premises, houses of worship, hospitals, schools, colleges, universities and public conveyances. I agree that restaurants and pubs must designate proper smoking zones where non-smoking patrons will not be at risk of second-hand smoke. I do not agree that the street is off-limits to smokers, save for a few poorly designed and poorly-sited 'smoking zones'. Given the aforemetioned points, the street is hardly a paragon of air quality. It defeats the purpose of enhancing human health if the least contributor to poor air quality is controlled - because it is easy to do so - while the more obvious causes of respiratory diseases (cars, buses, motor-cycles, lorries, taxis, etc.) are allowed to proliferate and pollute. The lunatics who came up with that provision in the Tobacco Control Act, must make amendments reflecting this reality - or else, they should simply outlaw smoking altogether. That would fix things, wouldn't it?

In my defense...

In the past few days, the debate on whether the PS in the Ministry of Local Government can purport to amend by-laws promulgated by the City Council of Nairobi have inevitably focussed on the venality and avarice of lawyers. I wish to state categorically that every profession has its share of greedy and corrupt mebers - take teachers for example; you know, the ones that charge you an arm and a leg for 'extrra' coaching simply by refusing to complete the required syllabus within the time allocated; the doctors that prescribe expensive procedures for routine ailments. The list is long and sordid. To point an accusing finger at the lawyers is to simply find a convenient scapegoat and to give up responsibility for ones actions.

The legal profession would not exist if we were all honest and law-abiding and were willing to take responsibility for our actions. The legal profession becomes an asset only when our hides are in the firing line - else, we are content to blame the lawyers for every error that has been committed through some badly formulated statute.

Mr. Clay Muganda's attack on Mr. Haroun Ndubi for his comments regarding the tobacco legislation and subsidiary legislation (Legal smokescreen, DN 31/10/08) at the centre of the conflict between the ministry and the council are so unwarranted as to question whether he truly studied the law at university. He called lawyers "spineless, pretentious, vile and reptillian" who have failed to guide Kenya out of the woods because each is pulling in his own direction. Of course it is in his interest to ignore the lawyers who do admirable work for very little reward in the arena of human rights, consumer rights, children's rights, women's rights, etc. The numbers of lawyers that have faced the cruel hand of the state upon them for fighting for the public interest is large ... to forget them and label them in such uninformed phrases is to ignore the struggle for the soul of this country. Sure, the National Assembly has attracted the more amoral members of the profession, but in this instance they are politicians first, and lawyers next.

Perhaps, I should shine the spot light on the Fourth Estate. Where were you when alleged meetings were being arranged in Stae House to rob Kenya of its youth in the months of January and February? Is it true that many of you received cash handouts from the architects of the Goldenberg saga to report the news in a less than professional manner? Didn't some of you take to the streets, figuratively, in support of Moi's iniquitous regime? Like the good book says, do not attempt to remove the speck in my eye before you have removed the plank in yours.

Why Kivuitu Must Go

We all know that the 2007 Genral and Presidential elections were rigged. I had predicted as much in a previous post. What could not be anticipated was the level of bloodshed that would be unleashed once the rigging was finished. It is in this maelstrom of action that Kivuitu made a series of statements which indicated that his senility had gotten the best of him and perhaps, he ws not the best steward of our electoral process. The Hon. Mr. Justice Kriegler said the same. He literally accused Kivuitu and his team of gross incompetence and negligence in the performance of their duties. I do not disagree.

When Kivuitu admitted that he did not know who had won the presidency, it called into question why he was so hasty to declare Kibaki the winner and attend the swearing in ceremony on the lawns of State House, Nairobi. if he had been coerced, he should have come out and said it. If he was bribed ... Mr. Kivuitu proves that it is time for the old and decrepit to take their leave from running the affairs of state and allow more youthful persons (and I don't mean Rail or kalonzo-like youthful; I mean Namwamba/Kimunya youthful) to take over. Of course, the likes of Kiema Kilonzo and Ababu namwamba call into serious doubt whether the more youthful MPs currently enjoying their millions in salaries and allowances are the best sterwards.

Kivuitu exposes the lie that age and experience are always a good thing in the affairs of state. It shows how the old are slow to see the obvious and how, because of their hardwired prejudices, they will never accept that they know less than the sum-total of their lives. It does not help that the African has a tradition of revering the aged and infirm, even when senile to his very core. Traditions must change, and THAT generation must go.

Is stripping a legitimate employment activity?

Now, for those of you who have traveled the world, stripping in Kenya is a bit more dingier than the worst strip-clubs you'll find in Detroit or Birmingham. The Kenyan version is devoid of any style or class, the venues are dens of various vices and the service leaves a lot to be desired, apart from an unrequited boner!

However, the Apple Bees, Liddos and Tahitis of Nairobi are providing desperate girls with an option from the prostitution that takes place in back alleys and on the ever popular K-Street. I just wish that the proprietors of these joints took a bit of pride in the service they offered and ensured that the quality of service was a bit more ... respectable, in a manner of speaking. They have to upgrade their facilities so that the joints don't look as if the last patron in the place had relieved himself all over the walls. I like the camaraderie of some of the girls there, but I am not looking for a girlfriend or a wife, so if they were to maintain the mercenary standards for which Nairobi is famous for, then I would continue to patronise these dubious houses of sin.

Is stripping a legitimate employment activity>

Is stripping

When leaders behave badly ...

We have looked with horror at the scenes of school-children butchering each other on TV in the last few months. The common refrain has been that the mock KCSE exams are too hard. I think it goes deeper than that. Our political leaders are behaving in the worst possible way - inciting others to commit terrible atrocities. It is only natural that our children pick up on these signals and apply them to their particular situations. However, we shouldn't pretend that we are blameless. For every child murdered in school, we are to blame for allowing ourselves to become the tools of an uncaring, greedy, grasping political class that has shown no moral courage or vision. It is shameful to watch the likes of Kalonzo Musyoka preaching peace and reconciliation when our children have been taught nothing else by his colleagues other than to kill and maim and destroy.

Which leads me to another totally unrelated matter: the indictment of Omar el-Bashir. Sudan is undergoing changes that are anything but civilised - at least not the western notion of civilisation. President Bashir is no doubt a despot. But so what? Why should he be indicted by a tribunal to which his country is not a party to? The ICC chief prosecutor, no doubt an intelligent and passionate man, is wrong to wish to circumvent the international laws that his people have established to govern relations between and among nation states. It is not even an African problem - what would the AU, for example, do? Impose sanctions? Send in peace-keepers? Invade? All these are the lunatic schemes of the west to maintain dominance over an emerging world rich in natural and mineral resources. They are rightfully afraid that their previous bad behaviour is no longer guaranteeing them a share in these resources. They are regretting imposing the SAPs and other such behaviour-altering mechanisms upon us. They simply do not understand that the days of the pith-helmeted white man lording it over the south are going out of fashion. We are sovereign nations, and if we agree to allow one of our own to murder his own people, why should they complain. After all, do you really see Mr. Ocampo bringing indictments against George W. Bush or Tony Blair or Vladimir Putin? those three between them have killed more people than the fictitious "300,000" quoted by the world's media. Tell me I'm wrong!!!

IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE END?

Now that Martha Karua has decided to throw her hat into the ring, and Uhuru Kenyatta is under fire over his decisions as Local Government Minister, and Otieno Kajwang's over his as Immigration Minister, and Orengo in his war with Kimunya over the Grand Regency, is Kibaki's coalition falling apart? Even mouths for hire like Mungatana are calling the decision to set up the PNU a bad one. When rats desert a ship, you know things are really dire. However, we are mindful of the fact that Kibaki has not survived this long by falling asleep at the steering wheel. He has constantly outsmarted the opposition; to underestimate him now would be a grave error, even for smart girls like Martha. She needs to follow Mutahi Ngunyi's advice and bring the war to Kibaki and the Old Guard otherwise she will end up like all the other no-hoppers who have underestimated him.

The love fest between Kibaki and Raila will not last. I have said previously that January 2009 is the deadline; if they survive beyond then, their's will be like one of those marriages where they don't want to get a divorce because they then both lose. Kibaki and Raila do not trust each other; hence the fact that their lieutenants' constant bickering and oneupmanship. It doesn't help that motormouths have been given a free rein to let rip. The upshot is that ordinary Kenyans are benefiting, albeit in unexpected ways. It was not possible for entrepreneurial Kenyans to set up business that did not run afoul of the various Moi rules of yore. Now, it is not likely that your business will get poached without a fight. For that alone, I would re-elect Kibaki a thousand times over.

Of heroes and Cannibals

We all know that taxation is one of the two things one can never avoid in life, the other being death. The Americans after all fought a war with England over the matter of taxation without representation. So why is it that Kenyans are incapable of mounting a strong front against the 10th Parliament? Perhaps the reason is that we really don't care. There was an image on the TV last week during the by-election in Emuhaya where voters said they would not vote unless they were paid to do so. Have we come to the stage of 'election allowances' for voters? If so, we cannot blame the MPs for saying "no to taxation" of their allowances. After all, if he is going to defend his seat in the next general election at a cost of 10 million shillings, why should he not start saving for the fight right now? How can he save if the government is swallowing a third of his 600,000? That is why the fattest cats among the fat cats are being watched with animosity by their colleagues. The likes of Johnstone Muthama, Cyrus Jirongo, William Ruto and Raila Odinga are millionaires and billionaires in their own right and have no need for the paltry sh. 850,000-a-month they earn. However, losers like Mungatana and his brethren in the PNU have no wealth to speak of. How can the 'poverty-stricken' members of the House survive if their richer brethren keep cutting their legs from under them? Those MPs calling for sacrifice have the right idea but no backbone; else, Kenya would not have been saddled with a cabinet of 40-odd hyenas, some of whom have no business being in government. And Raila begging for money from the Americans to run his office just shows how myopic our 'leaders' are. They should all take a leaf from John Harun Mwau's play book and put their money where their mouths are - he has a vision for Ukambani that if realized, will turn the region into an intellectual and financial powerhouse. His motto, "Think and grow rich", is the only strategy that can work in an area where agri-business is in the doldrums and assorted malaises affect the spirit of the people. He should be regarded as the hero of the Akamba people, not slave-drivers like Kalonzo and his band of ODM-K misfits.

Is 12 months too optimistic for the Grand Coalition?

Surveying the political landscape today, one would be mistaken for thinking that it was November 2007. The ODM-PNU battle of the titans looks like it is still going on, never mind the promises of working together and the recent mollifying speeches of the flag-bearers. It's too bad that this is Kibaki's last term. Lame ducks have never been able to exert authority or bring their wayward charges to heel. With Kibaki's customary laissez faire approach to ruling, his most ardent lieutenants have taken the opportunity to roil the waters and mischief-make in the hope that one of them becomes the flag-bearer in the next general elections. I think that for us to expect the coalition to last beyond January 2009 is wildly optimistic. Martha Karua and George Saitoti have taken such hardline stances towards the amnesty agenda of the ODM team that I am sure this will be a big bone of contention in the next few weeks if not till the coalition falls apart, as it inevitably must.

Commentators have argued that those accused of arson and murder cannot simply be let free. I agree with them. However, it is not fair that a majority of the young men and women behind bars are overwhelmingly the supporters of the ODM. It would have not raised such a stink if the same proportion of the PNU lot were enjoying the hospitality of the state. But this is not so. Karua and Saitoti are being less than frank when they claim that the justice, law and order machinery of the state was employed fairly and without bias. It is because of this that the ODM would like to see its footsoldiers let free. I wonder if Raila's offer of negotitiation with the Mungiki was targetted at softening Karua's and Saitoti's positions in the hope that he would broker an agreement that the Mungiki would not be slaughtered by the police and the ODM murderers would be let free? If this is so, Raila's strategy is falling apart.

I therefore, cannot see this government lasting beyond january 2009 and general elections may be called sooner than we hoped. This time round, matters will end much worse. The so-called Agenda No. 4 of the Medfiation Process is not being discussed let alone being implemented. If we do not get a new constitution by the end of the year and if no changes are made to the election process and law, violence is all but guaranteed during the next general election. This time round, whether the politicins like it or not, to quell it will require more than promises and lies. I don't think that the calm we have enjoyed in the last two months can be described as peace. This is the quiet before the tornado blows away your whole life. Watch and be very very afraid.

Power-sharing? What has the ODM been drinking?

Mutahi Ngunyi may have hit the hammer on the head, and Uhuru 'UK' Kenyatta only confirmed it: there are no hard-liners around the president. The only hardliner in that camp is the president himself. If he wanted a deal done, Martha and the other so-called hardliners would have no say in the matter. it seems that the Old Man and the ODM flag-bearer have a personal chemistry that can only be politely descibed as less that friendly.

In this whole debate, the fate of Kenyan refugees has yet to be addressed in detail. I am sure that Dr. Shabaan is doing her best to sort out matters to deal with humanitarian relief, but the political class has done nothing to begin the process of reconciliation. It also seems that Mr. Odinga's writ does not run large in Kibera anymore. Yesterday's riots are either a sign that he is no longer being heard or that he has asked his constiotuents to return to the streets for more 'mass action'.

It has always been naive to imagine that President Kibaki would share executive power with anyone. Where in Africa, indeed the world, have you seen a head of government share executive power? Even in the 'developed' democracies, there is only one person who wields executive power. Prof. Kivutha Kibwana is right when he points out that the constitution of Kenya and the National Accord do not envisage a splitting of the executive power between the President and the Prime Minister. However, he is wrong in denying the perceived importance and relative power of the different ministries. After all, do you really see one of these men agreeing to become the minister for gender, youth and cultural affairs when he could be named the minster for finance? Didn't think so. This has nothing to do with the letter of the law but with the political perception created and the practicalities of the situation. it is a bare fact that some ministries control the lion's share of the national resources while others receive bread-crumbs.

It is also a fact that the last truly executive president was Mr. Moi. He wielded power with authority and thre was none to challenge him. Even his political rehabilitation in the run up to the General Elections is a testament to the fact the he still commanded authority and respect from his tormentors and friend alike. Mr. Kibaki would be naive to imagine that the political class and the Kenyan people would allow him to rule rather than govern. Sadly for him, he is neither feared nor respected by the Opposition.

Some wags are suggesting that the best possible solution to the problem of power sharing would be to create 222 new ministries and make every MP a Minister. This, it is argued, would drive home the point that the ministerial flag is not important in the grand scheme of things. Thus, what Kenya needs today is not 40 or even 20 ministries, but a political class that has the interests of the Kenyan at heart. Unfortunately, that is not a class that exists today. For instance, Mr. Johnstone Muthama has already been preveiled upon by his colleagues to shelve his calls for a reduction in the salaries and allowances of MPs. Who wants to wager that the honourable member for Kangundo never mentions the matter ever again?

What sayeth the people

Let's get this right first time round - the Kenyan people are not important or relevant in the grand game being played out between Kibaki's PNU and Raila's ODM. We are merely bit players and our views, such as they are, are irrelevant and inconsequential. Else, how do you explain the fact that apart from their vacuous claims of sympathy and concern for the huddled masses, they are yet to make a dramatic visit to any of the camps where we have been compelled to stay simply because the powers that be have deployed half the security forces to keep apart the riotous nairobi youth in the pay of the politicians sleeping in Parliament?

It is time for the general population to rise up in one voice and declare that the hour of change is upon us and that we will be damned forever if we allowed that change to be managed by a class that has proven time and again that its interests are above those of the people it serves.

The inflation rate is slowly inching up towards 20% and basic commodities are beginning to slip away from the grasp of the Kenyan family and our polititions, on an obscene sh. 850,000 a month, are yet to speak on the need for a fiscal austerity measure for their class to address the plight of the Kenyan. How could they? After all, those Range Rovers and Toyota Land Cruisers will not fuel themselves in any fiscal austerity programme, will they? Why would the likes of Kalonzo Musyoka care for the Kenyan when he goes to sleep every night in a sh. 100,000,000 mansion built at the tax-payers' cost? He would not. he got what he always wanted and he'll be damned if he is going to sacrifice for any of 'his' people.

So what say you, the huddled masses? Are you going to do the Kenyan thing and bury your head in the sand and say "it isn't my cause'? Like Bob Marley sang, Get up, stand up and fight for your rights. Don't give up the fight.

A luta continua!

Pet Peeves

Enough with the politics. I think it is time we sorted out some of the more fundamental problems with the world in Kenya today - women who have let themselves go. And boy, am I in a bad mood. Nairobi is a dangerous gauntlet to walk - the number of badly dressed, overweight birds on the street will make you weep in despair. I have no problem with women dessing as if they came from the same cookie cutter; I draw the line, however, when the style they are all adopting is patently unsuitable for a greater number of these fashionistas.

When it comes to cellulose and flab, the less that is seen the better it is. What is so wrong in hiding all your nasty bits until you have hoodwinked the poor fool into bed? At that time, he is so greatful for having you in his bed, he doesn't care that you run a close second to a rhino in girth and skin texture. It should be made a cardinal rule that when a woman starts to resemble the Michelin Man, all figure-hugging items of clothing in her closet should be incinerated.

Men, today more than at any other time in history, are allegedly in short supply - especially the marrying-material, take-home-to-mama kind. But, with so much flab being flashed about so crudely, I would argue that it is not marriageable men who are in short supply, but women. An old African saying holds that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones. This is so very true when you watch all these otherwise personable babes dressing and behaving as if they are God's gift simply by being alive. Men should start drawing a very firm line when it comes to hair in unwanted places, spare wheels on anything but cars, trouser cuffs that have accumulated half the filth in Nairobi, cracked heels, et al.

Personal grooming only becomes a dark art when one behaves like a pig searching for truffles. The level of sartorial inelegance being displayed by women straight out of campus makes me wish that they did away with feminine university education altogether - it has failed to instil any sense of style in these poor dears. Worse, it is now spilling over onto our TV screens. Watching the evening news when presented by some of the over made-up women in suits a size too small spotting beer-guts to rival that of the famed Oloi Tip Tip, is a study in willpower. With the exception of some of the more established names like Kate Kasavuli and Beatrice Marshall and, my personal fave, Julie Gichuru, the rest are slowly scraping the bottom of the barrel when it come to what not to wear on TV. There was this woman who was interviewing the US ambassador in jeans and a rumpled blouse. Professional dressing is definitely not in their lexicon.

I despair for Kenya. The politics sucks and the eye-candy ain't sweet. Time for reform in more than one area, ama?

I didn't see that one Coming...honest!

When Baba Jimmy appointed Kalonzo as his number 2, it came as a bolt from the blue. Kalonzo had all along said that he was never going to side those who had cheated him out of the presidency. Apparently, he only meant Raila. As the rumours fly, the most common refrain is that Kalonzo has betrayed the Orange Movement and that now Kambas are not to be trusted as a result of his greed. They are being painted as a people who not only sit on the fence, but make promises they do not intend to keep for the sake of short-term political gain.

Kalonzo says that he wants to reconcile the nation. How will he do this when he failed to find a middle ground in his contest with his dear brother Raila? I have said in a previous post that Kalonzo is not fit to run this country and my view has only been reinforced by his recent behavior. He is dishonest, even by the usual political standards, and lacks any moral authority to pontificate on good governance when he spent his entire formative years in politics being one of Moi's ardent hatchet man. He has now proven to be even more power hungry than Raila ever could. If he believes that his current gambit will assure him a shot at the presidncy in 2012, I hope that the likes of John Harun Mwau and Mama Rainbow Charity Ngilu swiftly remind him that even his hegemony over Ukambani is not total or absolute.

The ball, unfortunately, is now in Raila's court. He can capitulate and play the role of a weakened opposition, or he can come to an arrangement with Kibaki and join the cabinet, albeit in less significant ministries. Either way, Raila will not be sworn in as President of the republic any time soon. But, as the pundits say, it's better to be in government than out. Where will this country be in a week's time?

Told You So...

When the date was announced for the general elections, no one was in doubt that the ODM-led Raila group would sweep the parliamentary sweepstakes. What was still undecided was what Kibaki would do to retain his presidency. The fact that he had a master tactician like Moi in his camp made things very difficult to predict. Raila was ahead in the opinion polls, but only just. Everyone was talking about the power of incumbency. It was to be seen if Kibaki would be the first African incumbent to be defeated in a presidential poll.

As it were, the choice was not the voters rto make. It is rumoured that the power-brokers and insiders surrounding Kibaki were not about to lose their shirts because their man was a gentleman. All the mechanisms were in place for a silent coup d'etat. when it became evident that the Kibaki camp was losing and losing badly, they played their last card and had the figures from Central Province massively inflated. To do this, the whole voter register in Central Province, to a man, voted for Kibaki, an unprecedented statistic. Of course, when it emerges years later that dead people voted for him, no one will care.

The violence that has befallen this benighted land in the last fortnoght can be attributed to the fact that Raila and his team do not want to admit that they are not as good as the Kibaki team at rigging elections. His cries that he is the only legitimately elected president will continually fall on deaf ears. If he imagines that the whole country will join him in a Rolling-Thunder type of campaign to dislodge the incumbent, he is sorely mistaken. After Kenyans come to realise that their stomachs are more important than their freedoms, they will leave Raila high and dry. Aand that is as it should be. Incumbents rig elections and the opposition cries foul and life goes on as before. So long as we don't mess with white people's property, things will be as they are. After all, This is Africa!!!

Denoument

My year is ending on a bad note. The general elections are around the corner. My exams are in 2 weeks and I am quite sure that I shall suck in them The fact is, 6 months of constant class-work and assignments have given me no time to cram for the exams. Thank God you only need a pass to move on. Can't say the same for Kalonzo and his brethren in the opposition. A pass for them will not be sufficient. They need to kill the establishment to become the establishment. Simply making it back into the House will not be enough. They must ensure that many of their competitors are sent packing by the huddled masses. It is on days like these that you discover that the system doesn't really give you what you want so much as what you deserve. And Kalonzo, Raila, et al deserve a serious hiding for taking the piss out of the common mwananchi.