Demand the best

Some of my online interlocutors ask why our service industry, apparently vaunted, does not live up to its reputation because of the quality of certain services they have paid for. One of them wonders why when she leaves her vehicle at the mechanic's to be repaired, the quality of service is low; while another wonders how it could take a tailor two weeks to repair a pair of trousers without repairing but ruining it in the end.

One of them has written a book on crowning the customer and his trousers would not be ruined if he recalled the words of wisdom in his book. He shouldn't feel bad about that; few of us raise a ruckus about the poor services we receive. We let it slide. We do not want to cause offence. We do not want to confront someone whom we treat as a friend. I think that is a mistake.

People who work for me or who's services I pay for are not my friends. Ours is a contractual relationship. I don't owe them anything other than their fee; they owe me nothing other than a job well done. If I ask for a cold Heineken and the barman offers me a cold Tusker, I will reject his offering, even if he has opened the bottled and poured me a glass. That is not the service I asked for; I will be damned if I pay for it. If the proprietor of the bar takes the price of the Tusker out of his pocket, so be it: I was not at fault.

If I ask the mechanic to replace the brake pads on my car and he chooses to adjust them instead, I will not pay him for the service. If I ask my tailor to adjust my trousers so that they fit better and instead he tears them apart, I will not only not pay him but I will demand compensation.

Because of our instinct not to cause offence, because of our desire to go along in order to get along, because we do not want to be seen as troublemakers, we are prepared to suffer poor service and petty criminality. It is how supermarkets get away with blatant theft: handing out sweets in lieu of cash as change. Assuming that because of their pricing mechanisms, each transaction requires a three-shilling change, and there are a hundred similar transactions a day, in a supermarket chain with twenty venues, that is a daily theft of six thousand shillings. In a month that is sh 180,000. Petty theft of such scales should piss us off.

One of my online interlocutors, despite the amount of evidence adduced, will keep dealing with a poor service provider because it is the patriotic thing to do. I tried the patriotism route; I ended up on the tarmac in Bujumbura, scared shitless every time the cleaning crew stomped past my seat hauling blue buckets - BUCKETS! - because the hoover "has broken down." Kenya Airways is the choice I will make long after I have worked down the list of alternatives, including Air Bujumbura, Fly540, JamboJet, Precision Air and JetLink - airlines, one and all, that don't overpromise and always underdeliver. With them, there are no nasty surprises.

We must demand excellence for the services we pay for. It is the only way things get better. If we are prepared for mediocre service, simply to save a shilling, we cannot complain about the quality of service we get. Thus, if your mechanic operates in the shade of an acacia tree out in the highway, doesn't seem to have a business licence to his name, asks you to fetch your car before sunset, and will only do a "good" job if you keep a beady eye on him, then, my friend, accept his services and fees at your own risk.