Is Kenya having its midlife crisis?

1. The search of an undefined dream or goal
2. A deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
3. A fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues
4. A desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
5. A need to spend more time alone or with certain peers

These are the classic characteristics of  a midlife crisis. These are characteristics that Kenya is displaying in its fiftieth year of existence as an independent nation, one short of its existence as a constitutional republic. Our undefined dream is the Kenya Vision 2013; our remorse is over the fact that Asian Tigers such as South Korea and Taiwan have left us in the dust even when we were peers in the post-colonial 1970s; and because of their successes, we wish to avoid humiliations when ranked alongside ne'er-do-wells like Tanzania, Rwanda or Uganda; our desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness can be summed up in a political slogan: "Team Digital"; and we seem to simultaneously seek isolation and peer acceptance amongst the likes of The Sudan, The Gambia, Iran and China.

The brass ring of nationhood was supposed to be political unity and predictability, economic growth and success, and world acclaim and prestige. These are some of the elements that set apart the United States, France or Germany. Kenyan nationhood was forged in the crucible of Great Power rivalry in the late 19th Century and hardened in the 20th Century colonial era. By the time the Mau Mau had declared their intention to evict the British land thieves off their land, Kenya was home to more than three-and-a-half dozen "tribes" speaking a similar or greater number of languages and dialects. Back then in 1963, none dared speak of Ukabila; it did not exist in the malevolent form it does today. Indeed, one of the proofs of a non-ukabila state was the mutual respect and admiration many treated those from other ethnic communities and how this was reflected in both KANU and KADU, though KADU was more a post-colonial hedge fund against indigenous political failure.

Fifty years later, the bright lights of the Independence Day gala have a harsh un-nostalgic glare. They mock us for our spectacular shortcomings. Their memory is a painful reminder of the opportunities we squandered like drunken sailors one hour out on shore leave. The Year of Jubilee finds us with a political alliance named in its honour that is the beneficiary of harsh and violent expropriation of all that was good about Kenya now converted into the most iniquitous venality, avarice and cant.

In 1947 when the ramblings about the state of the peoples of Kenya were getting heated, none believed that Kenya's colonial master would ship out. Indeed, none believed that Kenya would get the chance for its peoples to govern themselves and address their two greatest challenges: land and freedom. The violent interlude between 1952 and 1961 when the Mau Mau rose to fame and descended into infamy did not lessen the peoples' hopes about the future. 2013, if it were to be visited by a time-traveller from 1963, is a harsh indictment of the dreams of idealists. Land and freedom seem as far away from achievement for the poor and the weak; it is the elite that came up to replace the colonial elite that owns the choicest arable land in Kenya and can claim to be truly free.

To prove to our fellow post-colonial independent states, our peers, we have acquired new ambitions and new goals. In addition to Vision 2013, we also wish to implement the most complex constitution ever made by a nation in peacetime. The first three-and-half years of implementation have revealed a level of institutional sabotage that has elicited comment even in the most pro-government circles around. It is staggering how much lip-service is paid to the implementation of the constitution while ranks after ranks of saboteurs rampage and maraud with wild abandon in the vast constitutional landscape that we created in August 2010.

It is not that Kenya has not made great strides in its fifty year life. It has. And some we must surely be proud to trumpet from the rooftops. bar tow or three "incidents", Kenya has been at peace with itself and its neighbours for the better part of the fifty years. School enrollment has kept pace with the explosion in its population. It universities are training competitive go-getters that are the envy of its neighbours. It public service might display signs that raise eyebrows, but in terms of service delivery, it is second to none in its near-abroad. Let not the long list of achievements obscure the despondence-inducing reality that we are well and truly on our way to debilitating heartbreak.

Our leaders have betrayed everything they once stood for. The people have stood idly by and permitted their republic to be rent asunder by corruption, violence and ukabila. The leaders of tomorrow, whether we'll admit it to ourselves or not, are well and truly on their way to perfecting the most ill aspects of their forebears. It is why anyone who is surprised at the explosion of children, and youth, falling pregnant or battling the harsh aftermath of an STI pandemic, must surely be a visitor from Outer Mongolia.