Baggage.

When it rains, it pours. So I am reminded of the wisdom of antiquity. But of more recent vintage are Bob Marley's words; some feel the rain, others just get wet. It is raining but I am not just getting wet. My cup runneth over and I am unsure what to do. I have had occasion to experience bewilderment when fortune cast a favourable eye on me; now I am unsure what to do when both favour and disfavour seem so wildly interconnected.

On the one hand, She seems to have reactivated certain neurons that time and concussions might have damaged. Awkwardness seems to have dissipated. Which is awkward in itself. An appreciation of certain historical facts is slowly being gained. On the other hand, historical baggage weighs heavily on all this. And it is a mixed bag, some good; but much a threat to continued mental well-being. It is the latter that gives us, gives me, pause.

Baggage has one of two solution: bear it until it breaks you or set it down without regret. Neither is an easy choice to make, but it is far easier to bear the burdens of the past than to cast them away because of the fear of the unknown should we cast them away. It is a comfort to have a psychological target for the reason why we won't, can't, shan't, shouldn't do this, that or the other. We will deny that it is a comfort, but this is exactly what it is. There is a reason for moving forward with trepidation and hesitation. There's a reason to half-commit. There's a reason to magnify flaws and then to rely on them to change course - or even retreat.

We all have them, historical baggage that is. Some are physical, many are emotional. Emotional baggage can make or break us. Far often than not we refuse to find out because we have never tested our strengths. Some of us are fatalistic; some other are not; still others are pragmatic and analytical, ruled by reason and logic, denying our psychological immaturity. In our logic and reason we rationalise every decision, refusing to accept that reason and logic, not matter how rigorously applied, must be founded on an emotion: desire, fear, hope, misery. And the outcome of the rigorous application of that reason and logic is emotional: satisfaction.

How much history are we prepared to bear? All of it? Some of it? How much consequence are we prepared to endure? There is no knowing, no predicting. You can't prepare for it. You can hope that despite everything you know, it will end well. You can psyche yourself up. But you still will never be sure. Unless...Unless it is clear to yourself, deep within you, that you will do what it takes to live with your choices, to accept the past, to welcome the future. Sometimes your baggage is not yours to set down, but for others to accept that there will always be baggage.

Neurons are flashing wildly in unfamiliar patterns. The world is full of possibilities. She made that possible. She may not know it yet, but the world is soon going to be grateful to her, though not as you may think. The ability to transcend ones past is rare. The capacity to accept ones flaws is rarer still. But both are possible when one employs all the physical and psychological attributes at their disposal. It is only then that one can decide for themselves whether they intend to be happy or whether they intend to live in fear. Happy people tend to spread happiness. Those living in fear tend to act on their fears - it is never pretty when they do. World, you will have cause to thank Her.