I sometimes forget to follow my own advice. When I put my foot in it, the effort it takes to take it out is always greater than the ease with which I put it in in the first place. Thankfully, even by the truly lax standards of the Digital Age, I am not a "public figure" and what I say quite rarely causes a ruckus in the public domain. That is not so for some of my fellow countrymen who have built careers on being in the public eye, seemingly, all day every day.
A famous comedian recently stuck his foot so far down his throat that he quite probably stepped on his kidneys. As part of his public act, and following the alleged vicious sexual assault of a woman by a parliamentarian, the comedian asked an insensitive, callous and asinine question regarding the presence of the woman in the parliamentarian's office after ten o'clock in the evening. Kenyans on Twitter were not soon far behind in reminding the comedian that sexual assault is never, ever the victim's fault. He is still trying to put the whole ordeal behind him.
I can almost guarantee that his friends will use the phrase "he did not mean it that way" as an explanation for his words. This confirms that when it comes to sexual assaults on women, Kenya is still in the Dark Ages. Women victims of sexual assault are always partly or wholly to blame for the attacks against them. That was the message the men who stripped and assaulted women recently were perpetuating. It is the same message that the comedian was repeating with his words. We cannot let these ideas stand.
I believe that we are far from reaching the point where we treat the rich and famous with irreverence. We adore the rich and famous. We make excuses for their bad behaviour - and crimes. We are prepared to debase ourselves in front of them in order to catch some of the fairy dust that covers them. We are prepared to ignore the poor choices they make that sometimes lead to tragic results. We are only prepared to see their "good works" and "heroic achievements." If this means that women or girls are forgotten in their hours of need, so be it.
It is not just asinine comedians who confirm our casual misogyny. The church too is in on it. And I am not restricting myself to the fly-by-night Kanyari-like operations that have flourished in the last decade. The "mainstream" denominations too have a stake in the erasure of women and their accomplishments from the public psyche. When they "reserve" women congregants to the softer side of the ministry, when they decide what is decent ad not decent dress for women, when they refuse to acknowledge that some of ther male congregants are criminals for sexually assaulting women - when they keep quiet when women and children suffer, the church is just as complicit in the crimes as the attackers are.
There is no explanation that will justify assaults on women and girls. There is no joke that will erase the pain, humiliation and tragedy of sexual assault. No amount of mealy-mouthed apologies will whitewash the comedian's casual misogyny. If hs friends and fans cannot see this, if they cannot appreciate this, then they are complicit in his misogyny - and they should also be treated with the same contempt that he deserves. The time is right to acknowledge that women and girls are the equals of men and boys in all respects. All. In the words of a campaign slogan of ill-repute, it is time for us to accept that fact and move on.
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