If you weren't paying attention, son, know now then that school is in session. Kid, things have taken a turn for the stupid these past few days so you'd best sit up straight and pay attention because this might not be important stuff but they surely affect important stuff.
First off, the frivolous shit. Did you know Parliament ran out of money to pay off its electricity Bill? Yeah, that happened. It took the President's Chief of Staff for Kenya Power to get off its high horse and switch the juice back on. I don't know how you run up a bill of ten million unless you are Bidco or the East African Bottlers Company, unless you are having a bad day with your bankers, but for whatever reason Parliament's beancounters seemed to have missed the impending Kenya Power kaibosh. Who's is in charge in that place, anyway?
Did you ever, ever think that the Commission for the Implementation of the Constitution would hold hands with the national Executive to stick to Parliament? Me neither, but that's what is happening. Some Rift Valley MP - variously lampooned as a greenhorn, a mole and a renegade - has decided he's had it with a powerful Cabinet Secretary and he's going to get the CS impeached. The wing of the coalition the CS is associated with cries foul. Totally unrelated - wink, wink - the CIC goes to the High Court and asks the constitutional court to declare certain bits of the Standing Orders - the Parliamentary Rule Book - unconstitutional. The Court agrees.
Of course the speakers are having none of it. Knowing full well that the "sanctity of Parliament" will not be violated by process servers, the Speaker of one of the annoying chambers declares he has absolutely no idea whether a court has "stayed parliamentary debate," only that they will have the impeachment debate come hell or high water. It's only a matter of time before he gets yanked back into line and told in no uncertain terms is his chamber impeaching the CS - or any CS for that matter.
Turns out last week was the last good week to hold onto your dollars, kid. Now that the Central Bank has made 48 billion for itself in profits because of a "weak" shilling, you might start to hear talk of market operations or some esoteric central bank speak and the shilling will make a miraculous rally against world currencies. It's not the first time that I have been shafted by the CBK.
But the thing that you need to keep an eye on is all the praying taking place around the country these days. Well not really countrywide; this praying seems to be loudest in certain parts of Mt Kenya and the deep Rift Valley. The last time there was all this praying some guy had his case thrown out of court because it turns out many witnesses against him were lying little shits who had been coached and paid to make stories about how he met with militia leaders and gave them money. If prayers worked then, revealing the unholy truth for all the world to see, why can't they work this time round even if the ones praying loudest have the whiff of the porcine around them?
So pay attention. Things are happening. If you can stand the stench, you might yet find truffles in the troughs.